Wie kent er nog iemand voor deze functie?
Functiebeschrijving - Ouder
POSITION title:
* Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
* term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
* must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings, nights and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* expenses not reimbursed.
* courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
* rest of your life.
* be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
* be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
* screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
* handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
* also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
* required unfortunately.
* training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
* this! You pay them!
* frequent raises and bonuses.
* balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
* you die, you give them whatever is left.
* oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
* no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. * this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
AND A FOOTNOTE "THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
;-)
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